Today is the sixth anniversary of the second time I was raped, but I’m dealing with it pretty well. Actually, I’m doing great today, but apparently this is because I got it all out of my system last weekend. My boyfriend and I were drinking with friends, and I didn’t think I was all that drunk then; I felt fine until I got home. I remember throwing up, but I don’t remember anything after that. My boyfriend told me that I was afraid of the Bad People (hey, I need the euphemism, ’cause it’s awfully long and clunky to keep referring to them as “the people who raped me”), crying and saying that I had to keep my eyes closed because if I opened them, I would see the Bad People. He of course told me that there were no Bad People around, that I was safe, but I guess it took a long time for me to believe him.

I’m glad I have no memory of all of this, but I wish I hadn’t put him through it. I’m glad this weekend is better.

Apart from that, I’m fine lately, but I’m working extra hours for a few weeks, and I have almost no time to fit anything but work into my schedule. My brother, although out of the hospital, is not doing very well, but it’s going to take more time than I currently have to go into detail about that. I’m hoping I’ll have enough free time on Tuesday to manage to blog. I sure as hell won’t have any time tomorrow.

thememoryartist recently made an excellent post, A new proposal for the DSM, which “outlines and categorizes the features of Mental Health Professional Personality Disorders.” It’s funny because it’s true. Which also, of course, makes it sad. I’ve seen plenty of mental health professionals whose behaviours and attitudes are outlined very well by those criteria.

In a comment, Gianna mentioned that the post might be educational for mental health professionals. I’ve met some MHPs who would appreciate it very much… but they’re not the ones who tend to exhibit any of the listed behaviours. I think the ones who actually exhibit the “symptoms” would see that piece of writing as an example of a patient being narcissistic and overly hostile, and would never recognize themselves in the criteria.

There are also a lot of interesting comments on this post about PTSD misdiagnosed as BPD.

I am doing okay physically with the Zoloft and Epival withdrawal. I didn’t even have any of the brief dizzy spells yesterday. I was, however, staring at a word on a computer screen when I saw it suddenly jump several inches to the left, even though this did not really happen. I am hoping that this is just a regular hazard of the twenty-first century, as opposed to a withdrawal thing.

As I mentioned in a comment on my last post, medication withdrawal has made me kind of stupid lately, though. I can’t remember anything, my attention span is even worse than usual, and… um, I already forgot what I was going to write in the last part of this sentence. Oh, yeah, I’m constantly almost late for stuff. Since none of this has been interfering with my work performance, it’s not really all that important. It just bugs me.

Tomorrow I get to see my GP and I hope I’ll get my prescriptions. I have to pay forty freaking dollars for the cab ride there and back, because there’s a shortage of family doctors here, no bus service to the neighbouring town where my doctor is, and I don’t have a car.