Yup, I’m still around; I’ve just been too tired to blog lately. It is several hours before my usual bedtime, but I am already seriously considering crawling under my covers. The good thing is that so far I still haven’t gotten the flu that everybody else has. Exhaustion is better than exhaustion plus vomiting plus headache, but it still kind of sucks. I tried to fight the tiredness for a few days by not taking my meds exactly as prescribed, which was a poor idea, because it didn’t bring me back to normal, it just propelled me into a Zoloft-induced state of wakefulness where I felt like jumping out of my skin but I didn’t actually accomplish anything. I’ll take sleep instead of that, thank you very much. I don’t usually get enough sleep, so I just have to keep reminding myself that a temporary surplus of it is A Good Thing.

I started this blog a year ago today, but I’m far too tired to come up with any blogiversary-worthy Deep Thoughts about What I Have Learned in the past year. I’ve been really tired all week. At first I worried that I was getting depressed, but then I realized that almost everybody I know has a cold or the flu or some virus or other. I am not sick, but it seems highly likely that trying to stay not sick is completely exhausting me. Being run-down like this is certainly better than having stomach flu, though, so I ain’t complaining. Since I am not up to spewing forth Really Deep Thoughts (not that I ever am), instead I will simply share with you what are probably my favourite lines of poetry ever:

On a razor edge of reality,
I knew I would come out of this, bleeding and broken,
and singing.
~ Gwendolyn MacEwan, “Deraa”

Speaking of What I Have Learned, yes, it’s true that a year ago, I knew that I had already come out of “this,” bleeding & broken & singing, and that I would be likely to do so repeatedly. I do become surer and surer of this fact as time goes on, though, and I guess that’s a kind of learning, too. Sometimes I forget that I’ll get better every time I get worse, but I have been remembering it more and more often in the past couple of years, and for longer and longer periods of time.