And I too, have the problem of believing whatever my current state is–it will be forever–

Sometimes I think all that makes us different is our self obsession. I’d love to just witness my mood changes with equanimity. Is that too Zen?

“Sometimes I feel that I focus too much on analyzing my moods. Then when I’ve been feeling well for a relatively long time, though, I stop analyzing them, and because I’ve stopped, I don’t always notice quickly enough when I start feeling bad or too hyper. I think I’m at a baseline, but I’m not.”

It’s not clear from that comment that I truly do believe that sometimes I’m too obsessed with every change in my moods, but I do. I was just focused on the opposite problem because that was an issue for me more recently. All fall, I cried every night for no reason, and I thought this was the normal way that I should feel. It wasn’t until I started taking a low dose of medication again, started feeling good and stopped crying every night, that I realized I hadn’t been feeling normal in the fall.

The seasonal part of all this is a different matter. But it’s not that bad this time. I’ve just been more tired than usual and I’ve tried to spend more time outside and less time online. When I don’t feel well, I feel worse if I stay indoors.

I can see how the odd hours with your jobs would contribute. I always feel best when I have a fairly regular schedule. But, it’s never easy when you’re trying to make a living.

Sending good thoughts your way!
Susan

It took complete knowledge and acceptance of my disorder before I could understand that my mood would be changing, possibly very quickly and very drastically.