A good night’s sleep (or several)
In the past few days, I’ve rediscovered what it feels like to get a lot of sleep. I’ve always had trouble sleeping, and although I’ve had the type of insomnia where you keep waking up in the middle of the night and the type where you wake up really early in the morning although you’re tired, usually I have sleep-onset insomnia, which means that it takes me hours after I’ve gone to bed to actually fall asleep. When I was a small child, I usually wanted to get up around 4 a.m. because I felt ready to start my day at that point (my parents did not think this was a good idea), but at some point in elementary school, I started having problems falling asleep.
The insomnia comes and goes, and it’s been present again for the past few months, but I haven’t found it very bothersome, partly because I’ve had much worse trouble sleeping at other times, and partly because I know that my chronic exhaustion and hypersomnia while on Topamax and Zyprexa were a lot harder on me than mild to moderate insomnia is.
The past few days I’ve slept considerably later than usual and I really haven’t wanted to get out of bed. I know it was a holiday weekend, but still, I slept a lot. Usually, not wanting to get out of bed means I’m depressed, but my mood was fine, so I only wondered very briefly if I might be getting depressed before dismissing that thought. Then I wondered if maybe I was anxious about the job interviews I have coming up and trying to avoid preparing for them… but I have been preparing for them when I do get up, and I don’t feel unreasonably nervous about them. (I’m allowed to be a little bit nervous. They are job interviews, after all.) My interview prep and increased sleep have also left me with little time to blog lately.
My conclusion: I am just enjoying this rare joy of eight, nine, or ten hours of sleep per night to the fullest, because who knows when it’ll happen again?
Holy crap, this is a boring post. Maybe it’ll have a soporific effect on someone else, though, and do some good that way.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:32 am
Polly….enjoy it while it last. I, too, have the same problem of not being able to fall asleep. And, like you, for the last week, I do not want to get up and am really tired in the morning. Also, I am usually depressed when like this. For the last few days, I have had a good slap on the face of depression. But, the days preceding this latest bout, I was not depressed. I’m beginning to wonder if we are started to get some type of “WARNING! WARNING!….Depression on it’s way!” that keeps us on edge. I’ve been trying to figure out the warnings and signs to the BP rollercoaster ride for a long, long time now. Everytime, I THINK I know, it changes. Rollercoasters tend to lose their fun after a while, don’t they?
I love your “pollycoaster” word. I tend to write quite a bit about the “polly-roller-coaster” ride, too.
Your post in my blog about being “Shattered” was much needed. We tend to forget that we are not the only ones.
Take care!!
April 11th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Oops! For whatever reason, I had “pollycoaster” in my head. Maybe, part of my “shattering”. I dunno.
Polarcoaster is even better. Nice, concise description. Good word.